Year 1 Reflections

Last Thursday was mine and Paul's one year anniversary of dating. It all started in my church songwriting group. I had been going to this group for two semesters and made some incredible friends from it. Paul was also in the group, although, I didn't know too much about him because he never actually spoke to me. Luckily, all the guys of the group finally gave Paul the courage to talk to me... after the group was over... on instagram. It threw me off guard a little, but it did make so much sense as to why I was always being sat next to him in the group. Haha. We went for coffee and honestly the rest just flew by.

I have been overly cautious with myself and dating. I honestly put the boundaries on myself sometime in high school. I saw my friends hearts being broke, heard stories of how others ended up and took in all the experiences of others to apply to myself. I went on a few first dates, but never wanted to waste anyones time. I could usually tell if it would work out or not within a couple minutes of speaking to a guy face to face. It almost sounds shallow-I promise I'm not! I just have a strong intuition that I whole-heartedly follow. I also believe that timing and maturity has a lot to do with it.

I think it's extremely important to know who you are before you go adding someone else to the mix. On our very first date, Paul and I both shared the fact that we focused on ourselves the past year. The enneagram helped me a TON with this. I realized what my unhealthy state looks like and how I had unknowingly been trapped in it for years. I had just dug myself out of it when Paul asked me out.

Timing. Timing is everything. At 24, which I understand is young in the grand scheme of things, I still felt like I was running out of time. I was convinced I was destined to live with 20 dogs and maybe a cat. I couldn't find anyone that met my expectations and it was heart breaking. In fact, the only reason I went on any other dates was because I was losing hope. I was trying to see if maybe my "gut" was wrong. Going on a date with Paul was a wild card too. I din't know anything about him except that he liked music.

I'm so glad I did though. From the very first date he checked everything off my "list". I didn't even have to ask him anything. It was all completely natural and I felt peace. THAT is what I was looking for the entire time. Peace. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any good relationship should, but it has also been unexpectedly easy. We've had open and honest communication about everything since day one. That was super important to me and I believe it helps hold a strong bond. Knowing you can trust each other is huge!

Long story short, if Paul and I had dated any earlier than when we started, I firmly believe we would not be where we are today. We probably wouldn't even be together. We became the specific people that we each needed at that time and will continue to need forever.

I hope this encourages you wherever you're at in life.
1. Your story inspires everyone that knows it in some way. Always.
2. God has a plan. God always has a plan. Trust where you're at in it.
3. The next time you're at a fancy restaurant and the waiter asks what the special occasion is for, just tell them it's an anniversary; you might just get free desert out of it - another relationship perk! (written by Paul. LOL )