Don't Forget to Remember Me

Every summer ‘till college, I would stay with my grandparents in the Florida Panhandle and experience a very “unplugged” life. They live on a river around a bunch of farming land. To have fun we went fishing, 4-wheeling, turtle watching, and gardening. Don’t be fooled. I'm not talking about your herb garden. I mean a huge garden that takes a tractor to plant. One consisting of squash, peas, okra, and corn. This included shucking, shelling or cutting all of them and making sure to get all the worms out of course. Ew. I know.

I absolutely hated it at the time and still don’t particularly have a liking for it.

To get cell service in their house I had to hold my phone inside a trash can. Of course, it wasn’t for a few years that I realized I could just move the trash can... I’m a blonde. Long story short, I’ve learned a ton that I don’t believe I would know from living in a city my whole life and I truly believe  my life would not be the same if it weren’t for my grandparents moving to the middle of nowhere and letting me come visit them every summer. 

None of us are really positive of when, but it seems like it’s been about 10 years or so since my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s honestly just been a thing in the back of our minds  until we go visit and end up answering the same question 15 times realizing she’s worse than the last time. Then we head home and my grandpa is left taking care of her. Luckily, we have other family up there and my grandpas sister has moved in to help take care of them. 

This week was different though. We brought grandma down for a couple weeks to give grandpa some time to work on things he can’t get done when she is there. Since she’s been living at our house for about a week, we’ve had some laughable moments and a lot of upsetting moments.

 My mother and I took her to Disney’s Animal Kingdom and had tons of fun watching the shows and looking at all the animals. My dad joined us after he got off of work. She gave him a big hug and greeted him like it’s been months since she’s seen him, when in reality it’s been less that 24 hours. But who doesn’t love a good warm welcome! It’s also fun when she doesn’t remember she’s at Disney and her face lights up when you tell her. That’s always a good time!

It gets hard when she knows she’s asked you the same question before and can’t remember the answer.  It’s when she cries herself to sleep because she’s not used to sleeping alone and can’t remember why my grandpa isn’t with her that makes our smiles drop. The reason she’s down here is because you literally can’t take your eyes off of her for a minute without something happening. It’s usually her putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher and then unloading the dirty dishes as if they were clean. If you’re not in eye sight, she will start wondering the house, restaurant, or store until she finds someone or start yelling for someone to come. She can’t be alone. 

My grandparents currently have pictures of their family covering their walls. They're a daily reminder of who we are and some of the accomplishments we've made. I love pictures because they are never ending. I can show my grandma pictures of us at Disney this past weekend and she can not deny that we did it and had fun. Maybe it will even spark a memory! (Queue The Notebook flashbacks) 

In this journey, I’ve met a lot of people that had or have family members with Alzheimer’s. It’s all too common of a disease. I hope if you’re reading this and you know someone that has it, you realize that they hate it as much - if not more than you. Please have endless grace towards them, answer the same question as if it was the first time. Take pictures and make memories regardless if they will forget. It just may help them remember.

I would also love to hear your stories and take some advice on how you are caring for your loved ones with Alzheimer's. Feel free to share!